Stress, hustling culture and feeling alive in a competitive society

Post written by Heartscape Psychology intern, Chermaine Chia

Navigating the relentless currents of stress, the hustle-driven culture, and the relentless pressure to excel in our chosen fields is an undeniable facet of modern life. The desire to excel is not inherently wrong; goals grant us a semblance of control, propelling us beyond our innate capabilities. The quandary arises when our aspirations are dictated by societal expectations, divorced from our own well-being.

A poignant illustration of this struggle emerges from the recent article in TODAY published by Loh , R. (2023, November 1), titled “S’poreans more stressed than global average; 16% say their stress is 'not manageable': Study”. The Cigna Healthcare Vitality Study 2023 reveals a disconcerting truth: Singaporeans' stress levels have surged steadily, eclipsing the global average. This revelation hardly surprises, given Singapore's cutthroat competitiveness and the pervasive culture of 'kiasuism'. Many find themselves ensnared in a web of stress, laboring to keep pace with their peers while grappling with the escalating cost of living in this vibrant yet demanding city.

Another disheartening revelation from the same study is the staggering statistic: merely 1 in 10 Singaporeans reports experiencing high levels of Vitality. Defined as the intangible sense of feeling alive and in command of our lives, Vitality seems elusive for most. Observing my friends, I notice a prevailing sense of merely existing, prioritizing safety over embracing activities that truly ignite their passion. Despite choosing to delay their long-term happiness in favor of pursuing internships to bolster their resumes, most of my friends express feelings of burnout during these jobs. When I inquired about their sentiments regarding these positions, they overwhelmingly shared negative experiences, expressing a lack of fulfillment and a sense of stagnation. Even the challenges encountered during the internships felt like obligatory hurdles to overcome. In the end, they were merely relieved when it was all over, feeling that the experience did not contribute significantly to their personal or professional growth.

Reflecting on myself, I do have a lot of moments in my life where I chose to play it safe, rather than doing things that I feel passionate about. However, I realize that playing it safe means sacrificing what brings you true vitality.

True vitality, I believe, is found in the elusive state of 'flow': according to (Biasutti, 2011), it is a realm where undivided attention merges with genuine enjoyment, unmarred by stress and pressure. Yet, our society's breakneck pace makes it harder for us to discern our true passions, leading us to confuse societal expectations with our genuine desires, because we do not have the time for self-reflection and looking at our current state of life. We are taught to produce for society, but we are not taught to live a life for ourselves.

The culture of hustling further compounds our challenges. While striving for achievement, we risk losing ourselves, succumbing to the ceaseless pursuit of success and the fear of lagging behind. Consequently, our motivation stems from fear and accomplishment, rather than the sheer joy of pursuing what brings us fulfilment. In this whirlwind, we often find ourselves drained and mentally fatigued, devoid of the vigour that springs from doing what truly resonates with our core.

Alarmingly, the burden of stress disproportionately afflicts the younger generation, with Gen Z (18-24 years old) bearing the brunt. As a member of this demographic, I've keenly felt the weight of societal expectations, witnessing peers succumb to burnout amid the relentless pursuit of internships and the constant comparison propagated by social media. The sense of inadequacy pervades, breeding an environment where achievement and stress is the norm rather than the exception.

In essence, living in Singapore proves to be an arduous journey, marked by the competitive ethos, the struggle to make ends meet, and the exorbitant cost of living. Despite these challenges, there's a glimmer of hope. Even though our stress levels surpass the global average, a majority of Singaporeans exhibit remarkable resilience. Stress, a ubiquitous companion in life, can be managed effectively. By embracing proper coping strategies, we can harness stress as a catalyst for growth, pushing our boundaries while staying within the confines of our own limits.

Amid the frenzied pace of life, it's crucial to carve out time for introspection. Reassessing our goals, aligning them with our true interests, and avoiding the soul-draining monotony akin to being a 'zombie' are paramount. It is in this pursuit of authenticity and balance that we can reclaim our vitality and chart a path towards a more meaningful existence amidst the chaos.

It’s going to be harder, not feeling like every day is the same. However, we may need to put in the effort to find permission to feel alive, or else it is going to be harder to find a reason to live another day.

References

Loh , R. (2023, November 1). S’poreans More Stressed than Global Average; 16% Say Their Stress Is “Not Manageable”: Study. Retrieved November 6, 2023, from https://www.todayonline.com/singapore/sporeans-more-stressed-global-average-16-say-their-stress-not-manageable-study-2294541.

Biasutti, M. (2011, October 3). Flow and optimal experience. Encyclopedia of Creativity (Second Edition). https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/B9780123750389000996?via%3Dihub